Tips for a Happy Holiday for Friends and Family of GLBT Students

*Some tips excerpted from Mariana Caplan's book, When Holidays are Hell...! A Guide to Surviving Family Gatherings
Published by Hohm Press

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

If you are the friend or family member of someone gay...

Set up support for yourself. It is important to realize you are not alone. Find the phone number of the nearest Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) chapter.
Take your time. Acceptance does not come instantly, but be honest about your feelings.
Don't be nervous about using the "correct" language. Honesty and openness creates warmth, sincerity and a deeper bond in a relationship. If you are not sure what is appropriate, ask for help.
Realize the situation may be as difficult and awkward for your gay loved one as it is for you.

Practice in advance if you are going to be discussing your family member's sexual orientation with family and friends. If you are comfortable talking about it, your family and friends will probably be more comfortable too.
Anticipate potential problems, but do not assume the reactions will always be what you expected.
Consult with your gay loved one when coordinating sleeping arrangements if he or she is bringing home a partner.

Treat a gay person like you would treat anyone else in your family.
Take interest in your family member's life. He or she is still the same person.
Don't ask your gay family member to act a certain way. Let them be their natural selves.
Include your gay family member's partner in your family traditions.
Acknowledge your gay family member's partner as you would any other family member's partner.
Ask your gay family member about his or her partner if you know they have one.
Connect with someone (a friend or a spouse) with whom you can talk openly about your concerns or feelings.

If you are a GLBT student, click here for Tips.