Helping a Friend with a Mental Illness 
One Student's Testimony
Most UNH students enter college with the goal of learning who and what they will be once they graduate and enter "the real world." We do this in many ways, by attending classes, forming social groups, and taking the time to learn about the things we enjoy doing in life. In my time at UNH I have done all these things and what I have learned is that what I enjoy most is life itself. During my junior year at UNH I realized that I was suffering for an eating disorder and, although I knew that I was harming my body and had lost too much weight, I continued to allow myself to suffer. Throughout my illness I never allowed my academic life to suffer and, although I attended classes daily and spent time on campus with my friends, I had never felt so alone. Once family and friends had realized what I was suffering through, it became time to get help. I was incredibly ashamed and very reluctant to seek any form of professional help,. However, I eventually gained the nerve to see a counselor at the UNH Counseling Center and after only a few sessions the campus suddenly became smaller to me and I no longer felt so alone at UNH. Since then I have begun to appreciate my time at UNH, realizing that now is my time to appreciate the things that I have and enjoy about being alive. A love for life is something I will carry with me into "the real world" and although I had to learn it in a very painful way, I am proud to say that UNH contributed to my lust to be alive.
Some of us must thrive in the presence of a mental health concern. An increasing number of students are struggling with mental health concerns; many of these students are managing severe concerns. National studies indicate that a growing number of students are arriving at colleges and universities with long histories of mental health problems and treatment. Recent research shows that the mental health concerns students face have gotten increasingly severe over the past 13 years and the number of students seen at university counseling centers for depression, anxiety, suicide, sexual assault and personality problems have increased significantly.
Being a friend to someone who is living with a mental illness at times can be aggravating, scary, and/or confusing. In order to broaden UNH's Conspiracy of Care, here are some tips for you if your friend is experiencing symptoms of mental illness:
- Stay as patient and empathic with your friend as possible.
- Understand that most mental illnesses are treatable and curable.
- Talk directly to your friend about his/her mental illness and inquire as to what you can do to continue to be a good friend.
- If your friend starts exhibiting symptoms that frighten or confuse you, let your friend know the effect this behavior is having on you.
- Encourage your friend to get psychological/medical help as soon as possible. Offer to go with him/her to the Counseling Center or Health Services for help.
- If your friend is unwilling to get help him/herself, call the Counseling Center and discuss the situation with one of the clinical staff and strategize the steps for intervention. Always let an adult in your life know what's going on.
- Recognize your limits of caregiving and being a good friend. There are times when the best help you can provide is to back away.
Remember, a friend with a mental illness is not emotionally weak, lazy, or attention-seeking. They need loyal, caring friends just like everyone else does. If you can practice these tips, we will certainly broaden our Conspiracy of Care at UNH.
You may have heard this term used by Scott Chesney, Associate VP of Student and Academic Services, to describe an important value of our UNH community. "We take great pride in creating a true conspiracy of care for our students. Ideally when a staff or faculty member anywhere on campus believes a student is in need, steps are taken to connect that individual to the person that can help or to collaborate in a joint venture to provide care."
Along with many other community members, the Counseling Center staff is part of the web of caring that can sometimes act as a safety net for students. We look towards transforming the larger community into one that enables all people to manage and thrive. We invite you to join us in the Conspiracy of Care.